再过2个月就4岁的小米正在进入一个自我意志加速发展，但自律能力尚未建立的阶段，直观表现就是每时每刻都在“捣蛋+逆反”！
该“立规矩”啦！西方人在训育孩子自律和遵守规则方面还确实是有一套的，小米幼儿园发到资料附后，供需要的朋友参考。
Steps to Effective Discipline
- Plan ahead
- Ignore what is not really important
- Take time to think before acting and reacting
- Encourage cooperation
- Hold a positive expectation
- Communicate clearly and concisely
- Give children choices
- Speak assertively
- Be consistent
- Use natural or logical consequences
- Discuss the issue calmly
- Forgive and forget
训育儿童遵守纪律的方法
- 在训练孩子的时候，要提前计划
- 忽略那些不那么重要的事情，不要事事对孩子严格要求
- 在你有所行动或反馈前，先想一想
- 鼓励合作
- 对孩子始终抱有积极的期望，相信孩子
- 和孩子交流时要尽可能清晰简单
- 给孩子选择的机会
- 要求孩子时，语气要肯定，坚定
- 对孩子的要求要前后一致
- 让孩子接受自然的结果，而不是惩罚或诱惑
- 平静的和孩子讨论
- 不要做住孩子的错误不放手，要学会忘记和原谅
Limit Setting Techniques for Toddlers and Preschoolers
- Saying a limit once is not enough, Children need repetition to help them remember
- Think about what you are going to say before you say it
- Don’t make threats-unless you will really carry them out
- Keep your promises
- Don’t phrase thing as question unless it is really a question for example ending a request with ok?
- Give choices—–young childrencan’t handle many and they can’t choose when they are tired
- Talk simply——follow through—-assume the child will comply, expect the best
- Tell something positive or fun about what will happen next
- Use a child’s point of view—-“say goodbay to the swings”
- Give him a alternative behavior when you have say no—-“you can throw the ball, not the rocks”
- Use Face-saving techniques—-You can walk or I will carry you
规范幼儿行为的技巧
- 一次说一个要求，而且孩子是需要重复多次才能够记住的
- 在你提出要求前，先想想
- 不要威胁，除非你真的准备那么做
- 遵守诺言，说多做到
- 不要把要求说得像个问题，比如：现在该去吃饭了，好不好？
- 给孩子选择，但注意选择要简单，并且不要再孩子累得时候让他们选择
- 说得简单，说到做到，并且要相信你的孩子会遵守
- 对于完成你的要求之后所发生的情况，要尽量说得有趣和积极，比如我们要去刷牙了，刷完牙我们就可以开始讲故事了。
- 用孩子的观点是视角去要求，比如：和秋千说再见！
- 在你禁止某种行为的时候，给孩子一个替代的选择，比如别扔石头，你可以去扔球
- 为孩子保全面子，比如：我们该走了，你是自己走，还是我抱你走？
- 要按照孩子的步调去要求，尽量慢一些
IDEASOF DISCIPLINING YOUR PRESCHOOLER FOR PARENTS
给父母的一些关于训育儿童自律的建议
There is no one right way to discipline. An approach that is successful in one situation may not work in another. Also, different child respond in different ways to disciplining method. Successful parents often use a variety of approaches to deal with behavioral problem.并没有哪一种方法是万能的，在一些情况下有用的方法，在另一些情况可能毫无用处。而且，不同的孩子要用不用的方式。成功的父母总是有许多方法来教育孩子。
1 SET UP A SAFE ENVIRONMENT /营造一个安全的环境
One of the most important things thatparents can do is to establish a safe environment. Preschooler move quickly and love to climb and explore. Take a close look at your home including the exterior, garage, and yard. You may be able to avoid some accidents, fix, repair, toss, or lock up anything that might be a danger to your child.对父母来说，最重要的事情之一就是为孩子准备一个安全的环境，幼儿的活动能力很强，他们喜欢攀爬和探索，所以，要仔细的检查你的家，包括房子周围，车库和院子，确保没有隐患。同时修理/安装/扔东西/锁门，做这些事情时要特别注意，因为对你孩子都可能有潜在的危险。
It is also important to be on the lookout for dangerous situations while running errands or visiting others with your children. Having a safe place and appropriate toys to play with can save you from saying”no”, making your job as a parent much easier.另外，在带你的孩子外出或拜访朋友的时候，也要时刻注意有没有危险的情况。一个安全的环境和恰当的玩具，可以帮助减少拒绝孩子的次数，让做父母的更轻松一些。
2. Establish Routine/ 规律的作息
Preschooler need a consistent routine and reasonable bedtimes. Their small stomachs and high energy levels frequently need nutritious snacks and meals. Establishing consistent times for eating, napping, playing helps children learn how to pace themselves. Balance the day with active times, quiet times, times to be alone, and times to be with others. Take care of the basic needs to help prevent frustrating situations with a cranky and whiny child. 幼儿需要一个稳定的生活作息制度和合理的睡觉时间。他们小小的胃和旺盛的精力需要经常补充有营养的食物和点心。为他们安排固定的时间去吃东西，睡觉，玩耍，可以帮助他们安排好自己的生活。平衡一天中的时间，既要有活跃的时间也要有安静的时间，既要让他们有独处的机会，又要让他们有机会可以和别人交流。满足这些基本需求，可以防止他们变成脾气暴躁，爱抱怨，或者性格古怪的小孩。
3, Set a good example/ 做个好榜样
Preschoolers love to imitate adults. Watch your bad habits because your youngster will be sure to copy them. If you want your child to use good manners or pick up his or her room, be sure to demonstrate how to do it. Preschoolers are very interested in ‘Why’ we do things; it helps to explain what you are doing in very simple terms. 幼儿喜欢模仿成人。所以要仔细检查自己有没有坏习惯，因为你的孩子肯定会模仿。如果你希望你的孩子养成良好习惯，比如收拾他们的房间，你就的示范如何做。幼儿非常喜欢搞清楚为什么呀这么做，所以用简单的方式解释你为什么这么做是非常有帮助的。
TIME OUT/ 冷静时刻
Many
parents like to use a technique called ”time out”. A time out just that—a time out or cooling off period. When a child is misbehaving or out of control, he or she needs to be removed or isolated for a few minutes. Time out can be used with children ages 3 to 12 and with as mang children as you have private
places. For young children ,however, the time out period needs to be no longer than 5 minutes or they tend to forget the reason for the time out. 很多父母喜欢使用一种叫“冷静时刻”的方法， 就是给出一段时间让孩子独处和冷静。当一个还在做错事或失控时，他需要被带走或者被隔离到一个单独的区域。这个方法可以运用在3到12岁的孩子身上，也可以同时运用在多个孩子身上。然而，对年幼的孩子来说，这段时间最好不要超过5分钟，否则他可能忘记被要求冷静的原因。
A time out gives a child a few minutes to settle down and think about what has happened. Parents need to follow up by talking with the child about the misbehavior. 这种方法的意义在于，给孩子几分钟的时间去冷静下来想一想刚刚发生了什么。所以父母应该在这之后和孩子谈一谈到底发生了什么。
Young children do not always understand their misdoings. It helps to explain what happened. What they should not be doing. And what they can do instead. They also need the opportunity to practice the correct behavior. Keep such discussions simple. You might say: “it is not ok to hit your sister. Instead, tell her with words that you want to play with the blocks, too” 年幼的孩子并不一定理解他们的错误行为，所以事后去解释清楚发生了什么是非常有用处的。解释清楚什么不应该做，作为替代，他们可以做什么，并且他们需要有机会去练习正确的做法。记住要让这样的交谈尽量简单。比如你可以说：你不应该去打姐姐，你可以告诉他你也想玩积木。
ACTIVE LISTENING/ 积极的聆听
Child: John on’t let me ride in the wagon. 孩子：John不让我坐小推车
Father:Sounds like you are upset about this 爸爸：听起来你很难过
Child: Yeah, he’s mean! 孩子：是的，他很自私
Father: Hmm, you should really angry! 爸爸：恩，你肯定很生气
Child: Yeah! I had the wagon first. 孩子：是呀，我先拿到小推车的
Father: You were playing with the wagon before john was 爸爸：你比John先玩
Child: then he took it away. 孩子：然后他拿走了
Father: Hmm, Wonder why 爸爸：恩，为什么呢？
Child: I dunno. Maybe because I wouldn’t let him play. 孩子：我不知道，可能因为我不让他玩儿
Father: Wonder how both of you could play with the wagon? 爸爸：有没有什么方法，你们可以一起玩呢Child:Maybe he could ride and I could pull! 孩子：也许可以我推他坐。
This isan example of active listening in which the father is trying to understand the problem as well as the child’s feelings. The father does not try to end the conversation; instead, he encourages it. With the father’s time and support, the child is able to explore the situation, understand the problem, and even offer a solution. 这是一个积极聆听的例子，这个爸爸通过聆听去理解孩子的感受和发生了什么事情。这个爸爸并不着急结束和孩子的谈话，而是鼓励孩子说出来。在爸爸的耐心启发下，孩子搞清楚了问题的本质，甚至提出了解决方案。
Sometimes preschoolers do not need an adult to intervene. Rather, they need someone who will listen and help them work through a problem. 有时候孩子们不需要成人干预，他们只是需要有人能聆听和理解，并且帮助他们找到解决问题的方法。
Young children still have very limited problem-solving skills. The child in the above example was 5 years old. With a 3 years old in the same situation, the father may have needed to be more direct to offer a suggestion. For example:
Father:Maybe you could both sit in the wagon, or maybe one of you can pull and the other one can sit. Which idea do you like best?
更小的孩子解决问题的能力有限，上面这个例子中的孩子5岁，如果是3岁的孩子遇到相同的情况，父亲可以直接给出建议，例如：爸爸：也许你们两都可以坐上去，或者你们一个拉，另一个坐，你觉得哪个注意更好呢？
NATURAL AND LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES/让孩子接受自己行为的自然或逻辑结果，而不是惩罚
Natural and logical consequences help children understand the connection between their actions and the results of their misbehavior. Natural consequences are results that would naturally happen after a child’s behavior if parent did not do anything. The following examples show how natural consequence work. 自然和逻辑结果会帮助孩子理解他们的错误行为和其结果之间的关系，自然的结果是指父母不做任何干预，让孩子看到他们行为的自然后果。下面的例子说明自然结果是如何起作用的。
l Four-year-old Cara was tossing a quarter around in the car. Her mother asked her to put the quarter in her pocket. Cara continued to toss her money and the quarter flew out the window. She lost her quarter.4岁的Cara在车里扔硬币，他的妈妈要求他把硬币放在口袋里，但是Cara继续扔硬币，最后硬币从车窗掉了出去。
l Five-year-old Juan kept forgetting to put the ball in his toy box when he came inside form playing. One afternoon the ball disappeared. Juan lost his ball. 5岁的Jan总是忘记把自己的球放进玩具箱，一天下午球不见了，Jan丢了他的球。
Logical consequence should be used whenever natural consequences are dangerous or unpractical. For example, it would be dangerous for a child to experience the natural consequence of running into the street and getting hit by a car. 逻辑结果是用于自然结果是危险的或者没法实施的情况下，例如让孩子自由的在马路上玩耍的自然结果可能是被车撞。
Logical consequences happen when a parent helps the child correct the behavior. A logical consequence of a child running into the street could be losing the privilege of playing outside. Dad might comment:” Looks like you will need to play inside. When you can stay out of the street, then you can play outside.”
The following examples also illustrate the use of logical consequence.逻辑结果常常可以帮助孩子纠正他们的行为，例如孩子总跑到马路上玩耍的逻辑结果就是他不再被允许出去玩，他的爸爸可能会这样说：看起来你只能在家里玩了，只要你能够远离马路时，你才可以到外面玩耍。下面的例子说明逻辑结果的永春。
l Four-year-old Alex said: ”Yuck” and hurled his muffin across the kitchen. Dad calmly picked up the muffin and put it in the trash. Dad commented: ”when you can keep your food on your plate, then you can eat.” Alex went without a snack. 4岁的Alex一边说着：“讨厌”一边把他的麦芬扔到厨房，他爸爸平静的捡起麦芬，扔到垃圾箱里，然后说：“只有你能够让你的食物总在盘子里时，你才可以吃. ”这天，Alex 没有吃到点心
l Five-year-old Dena and four-year-old Peter are fighting. Mom says: “Looks like you two are having trouble getting along. Find something that you can play with together or you will have to play alone in separate room. 5岁的Dena 和4岁的Peter打架了，妈妈说：“看起来你们不能和睦相处，看看是否你们还能一起玩，否则你们就得在不同的房间里，自己单独玩儿。”
REDIRECTION/ 引导孩子纠正错误行为
Often, the problem is not what the child is doing, but the way he or she is doing it. In that case, redirecting or teaching the child a different way to do the same thing can be effective. If a child is drawing a books, remove the books and say:” book is not for drawing on.” Offer a substitute at the same time and say:”
if you want to draw on something, draw on this paper.” If your child is throwing blocks, you can remove the blocks and offer a ball to throw. If the child wants to dance on the coffee table, help him or her down and ask your child to perform for you on the front porch. 孩子的问题常常不是他们做了什么，而是他们做事的方式， 从这个角度来说，纠正他们的行为，教他们尝试用不同的方式做同一件事是很有效的！如果一个孩子在书上画画，把书拿走并递给他白纸，然后告诉他：书不是用来画画的，如果你想画画，就在这张白纸上画吧！如果你的孩子扔石头，就拿走石头并递给他一个球。如果你的孩子想在茶几上跳舞，就把他抱下来并且请他在前廊里为你表演！
IGNORING THE BEHAVIOR/忽视
Undesirable behavior can sometimes be stopped by not paying attention to it. In some situations this can work effectively. Withhold all attention, Praise, and support. Eventually, the child quits the unacceptable behavior because it does not bring the desired attention. This works particularly well when a child uses
forbidden or swear words to get attention. 孩子的一些不好的行为有时可以通过“不去关注”来解决。只要你忍住不去注意，不去表扬，不去干预，最终孩子会停止那些让人不愉快的行为，因为它不能吸引别人的注意。这个方法对于孩子说脏话（或其他不应该说得话）特别有效。
When all else fails/ 当所有方法都失效的时候
Sometimes children have a behavioral problem that seems to happen over and over. When nothing seems to be working, try the who,what,where,when and how method. Ask yourself “ when does the troublesome behavior seem to happen? What happens just before and after? Where does it happen and with whom? How do I usually respond? How could I prevent the behavior? What other approaches could I use?” The best method to find a more successful way to cope with behavioral problems is to take the time to think about options. 有时孩子的行为问题一再而再，再而三的出现，而且什么方法都没效果。 这个时候试试问问自己：“这样的行为什么时间，什么地点会发生，发生的时候有什么人在场，发生的前后有没有什么特别的事情，怎样才能防止，有没有其他方法可以用？”最好的教育方法，是花时间去思考和分析，然后做出决定
